It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

Christmas Eve 2009 - Punta Cana, DR

 ...in Toronto.  For the first time in 2 years we will be staying in town for Christmas.  As much as I love going away for Christmas, I think it will be fun to spend it with my family and my 2 nieces and nephew.  My perfect Christmas would be to have my whole family down in the Caribbean one year to celebrate in the sun.

Christmas for me became different 3 years ago.  It was the first time I ever saw the stress of Christmas affect my wife.  I felt bad.  I know its hard for her to see me and my family together for Christmas.  She loves the idea of Christmas but hates her reality of it.  As much as my family can say that she has them no matter what, I know what she means how it's not the same.  This is the reality of her situation.

Then her reality got worst when her brother died 2 years ago and we finally decided to fly down south for Christmas.  She needed to get away.  The last 2 years I've helped her forget about Christmas and as much as I want to go away for Christmas this year, I want to help her love Christmas again.  I want to make her idea of Christmas come to reality.  I want her to be in the Christmas spirit again.  This of course will take time, but this Christmas will be the first step into getting her back into the swing of things. 

Slowly I'm seeing her change her thoughts and perception about the holidays.  Her mom is happy, her dad is happy and she is at peace with her brother's death.  Trying to replace new memories with old ones is what needs to happen and I hope down the line the site of snow, cold, lights and trees will make her smile again.