IDIOT!

SOOOO....yesterday my friends Chris and Janet got married.  They had the ceremony and reception at the same venue.  After the ceremony we had an hour and a half to kill.  We didn't know what to do.  So my smart self told the boyz, "HEY LETS GO LONGBOARDING IN THE PARKING LOT!!"...hmmmmm, longboarding in a parking lot in the middle of a wedding wearing a suit and dress shoes? SURE!!

Jokes started to crack about imagining someone falling and their suit ripping and having holes in their pants!  It was just too funny and stupid that something like that could or would even happen, especially at a wedding!  So we just went on with it cause you know...stuff like that happens only in movies.  You can't write that shit!

So my friend Dwight went first...went down the hill..carved..turned..he was fine

...then I went...down the hill..carved too late..turned then saw GRAVEL and the last 15 seconds will explain how it went from there..



The reaction was the same.  The fall was the same.  The only thing that was different was that I was wearing a suit!!!  LOL!!! Right when I fell all hell broke loose!  I realized that my pants had ripped around my knees cause I gashed it on the pavement.  Then as I got up, I realized my dress shoes flew off and my socks looked like a dog mauled them...BOTH OF THEM!  Then as Dwight and I were walking up the hill I realized I felt a breeze!  Turns out that when I fell, the back of my pants (yes the ass part) split open and when I slid across the pavement, IT ALSO RIPPED MY UNDERWEAR! LMFAO!! Everything from the waist down was ripped, torn, dirty or scuffed!!!

The events that happened after that was hilarious!! I mean HILARIOUS!  I ran up the hill to my friends car with my blazer behind me.   We were going to his house to find me a new pair of pants.  I was trying to get into the car as quickly as possible then Leesh, Lyn, Dae, Darryl and Cless were wondering why I was rushing up to get into the car.   I took off the blazer behind me and there it was..my ass!  Everyone started to HOWL and loose it with laughter!  Darryl couldn't resist and came in the van.  Jp saw us leaving and asked "WHAT HAPPENED?!?!" then Dwight responded "Mike RIPPED HIS PANTS..AND THEN SOME!!" To Jp, when we said "..and then some", he thought I shit my pants LMFAO!!   So he joined Dwight, Darryl and I off we went to Dwights house laughing all the way there.  Laughing so HARD that we couldn't breathe!!

When I got to Dwights house, I tried on the pair of pants he gave me.  I realized that all his pants looked like MC Hammer pants on me!!  They were so BIG!!!  The girls followed us and when I came out with the pants doing the Hammer dance, they all took off to the mall to get me a new pair.  Keep in mind at this point, we had 45 min left before the reception started and there I was still pantless and tending to my wounds.  Before they left though, Darryl and Jp went out to show the girls the pants.  As I was in my Dwights room I just heard them laughing so hard!!  I came to find out why once they came back from the mall!!  They took this picture...

That pretty much sums it all up.  Lets also not forget that Dwight didn't have anything to clean the wounds except for RUBBING ALCOHOL!!  The old skool kind that comes in vinegar bottles.  That shit BURNNNNED!!!!!

Ohhh the good times!!  Glad to be a service of entertainment my friends!  I'm pretty sure my gashed up knee, ankle, feet and calf isn't too happy but at least all of us figured out how to kill an hour and a half and have it be soooo memorable!! LMFAO!! Seriously, I don't remember seeing my friends laugh this hard in a long LONG time.  Definitely one for the books!!